Man’s Best Friend

Originally published June 5, 2012

Holly Golightly

Holly Golightly (Coton de Tulear)

Today I got up at 4:10 in the morning.  Holly Golightly (my dog) awoke from a deep and peaceful sleep and decided to wake me up – just in case I wanted to take her outside.  I swear she does this on purpose – I can almost hear her giggling while she runs down the hall ahead of me on her way to the sun room.  By the time I stumble to the patio door, she is all excited and jumping up and down – as if to say “C’mon, hurry or I swear I’ll start barking at the top of my lungs!”

Next, Holly patrols the backyard – looking for the right spot to pee.  You see, she is very fussy where she pees – the area has to be the greenest and most plush area of grass in the backyard.  As I start to lose my patience, I begin calling to her in a loud whisper – “Holly!  Go potty right now!”  But she just stops her sniffing and begins staring at me – as if to say “keep it up and I’ll just take longer – it’s your choice.”

The next thing in this nightly ritual is me walking out onto the patio – in my boxer shorts – and immediately noticing how hard it’s raining.  I start clapping my hands at Holly and she responds by running at me – full speed – narrowly missing me and heading for the other side of the backyard.   Oh great!  She thinks that I want to play “Hide ‘n Seek” with her.  As I start to chase after her, barefoot across the lawn, I suddenly hit a patch of  what feels like yogurt.  But why would there be yogurt in my backyard?  My mind began racing – hoping that if it wasn’t yogurt, it might be pudding.   Yes Sherlock, you incredible detective, it was indeed “Ka-Ka!“.

Have you ever tried to remove “Ka-Ka” from your bare feet – without the use of paper towels or other suitable cleaning aids? And all of the while, your dog is running around you at about 100 miles per hour!  I start “skating” my foot along the wet grass and just as it appears that I am getting most of it off – my other foot suddenly slides into another patch of “Ka-Ka“.  I started to scream – which is probably the point that my next-door neighbour turned on his outside light to investigate the commotion.

“Danny, is that you?” he shouted from his back deck.  “Is everything okay?”

“Heck yes, Bob – I’m just out here with Holly – looking for dew worms.  Thought that I might go fishing today” (I haven’t fished in over 40 years but how else do you explain being outside at 4:15 in the morning?)

“Mind if I tag along?” he asked.  “I got a brand new rod and reel for Xmas, and I’m dying to try it out!  Maybe we can bring our dogs along (he has a Cocker Spaniel named Spencer).

It was at the point, just after I dropped to the ground – almost in tears – that I noticed that I was sitting on what felt a lot like yogurt…..




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An almost famous Film, Television & Stage Actor living in Vancouver, BC (as in almost pregnant). His other passions include: patient advocate (he had Stage 3 Throat Cancer) ; daily power walks at the Promenade in White Rock; and of course, spoiling his dog Holly Golightly. If you like the stuff he writes about - please leave a hug (or a comment).

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